Waiting some more.

This company moves like my grandma after her stroke. I have now been relegated to waiting until Monday or Tuesday to get an answer.

Waiting

I had nothing short of the greatest job interview of my life today. I find out tomorrow if I get the one on one meeting with the CEO, fingers crossed!

2 Interviews & A Dentist Appointment

I've got my black pinstriped slacks, crisp white shirt, dressy heels, leather portfolio (filled with resumes printed on fancy paper) and designer handbag all ready to go. Wish me luck, peeps, for tomorrow it's on like Donkey Kong.

TGIF

I just got back from 3 hours in the ER. Middle Child (7) had an ingrown hair in his groin area yesterday that I'd covered with ointment and put a bandaid on, but by the time he got home from school he'd itched the shit out of it and gotten it all infected. It was big and pus-filled with a raised red area all around it Needless to say, we weren't about to fuck around at that point, so we were packing him up to go when Youngest Child (4) decided to fuck around in the living room and whacked his head on the coffee table...which is slate. Blood everywhere. So we packed up the two of them and headed out.

We had them both in the same room, waiting for the doctor, so of course they're fucking around, bugging each other. MC managed to kick YC in the head, of course, causing the cut to open up more. Screaming ensued. Doc finally showed up, drained MC's abscess, then turned to YC and decided that Dermabond was the way to go.

20 minutes later, he's superglued, eating a popsicle and ready to go. Just as we were leaving, in one fluid motion, he reached up and PULLED THE DERMABOND OFF. Blood pouring out again, what the fuck...called the doc, she said she's NEVER had a kid pull Dermabond off, and that now would have to have real stitches.

The husband, at this point, was ready to kick YC's ass, so he took a walk to cool off. I stayed behind, wrapped the kid in a sheet like a burrito and held him down for 3 stitches right next to his eye. Fun.

Husband came back with MC, who still needed his antibiotic shot for the infection...it took 3 nurses and my husband to hold him down for 2 simultaneous shots, 1 to each butt cheek. He was bullshit. We then had to keep him from touching his butt for 10 minutes to make sure he didn't break out in hives as a reaction to the shot, during which time he screamed his head off in the waiting room.

While this was going on, Cameron started pulling on his stitches (it was still numb), actually pulling on the fucking threads. We took him back and got him a bandaid to cover the stitches.

As we sat in the waiting room, I looked at the husband and said, "You know, none of this would have happened if you'd just kept it in your fucking pants." He gave me the finger and walked away.

Make that 4

Pimpin' ain't easy, that's fo sho.

3 interviews coming up

Wish me luck, my minions.

Might as well have it tattooed on my forehead.

Loser. That's me.

Once again I've gotten myself into an untenable job situation. What I wouldn't give just to find a job, just one job, one that doesn't drive me crazy and fuck me over sideways. A job with health insurance, one that is within 30 miles of my home, one that doesn't pay like shit. Apparently, all of these things together are too damned much to ask. Over the last 24 hours, I've sent out almost 20 job applications. I'm done with this shit.

I'm done with working 56.2 miles from my front door. I'm done with cut-throat office politics and bullshit drama. I'm done with VP's promising one thing one minute and backstepping over it the next.

Does every job suck this bad? I'm starting to think the problem is me, and not them. I continue to be amazed at the dynamics of the corporate world, how people will step on your face sooner than look at you, how there are these weird politics and undercurrents to every seemingly innocent situation and GOD HELP YOU if you get swept up in it. Clearly, my skin is not thick enough for this crap. It has become painfully clear that I am far better suited teaching 8 year olds how to multiply than I am taking shit from grown-ups.

Now, the age old question; back to teaching, or do I stick with a business job closer to home? The problem with teaching is that the crappy jobs you get stuck with during your first 2 years or so don't come with benefits, and I've always carried the health insurance. The problem with a business job is that I'll probably never have an opportunity to go back to teaching.

Decisions decisions.

Ode to 'Half Baked'

I just watched this classic on a 50" high def flat screen, and I have to say I have a newfound appreciation. Fucking awesome movie, if you've not partaken, I highly recommend.





My favorite quotes:

Scarface: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!"

Scarface: "You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace! How much did THAT cost?"
Thurgood: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story.

Thurgood: " You have smoked yourself retarded."

Kenny: [to horse] "Hey, girl! You hungry?"
Overweight Woman: [walking by and overhears] "Fuck you, nigga!"

Brian: "No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes."

Thurgood: "If I wasn't Jamaican, why would I wear this hat?"

Brian: [after falling from building] "AWWW, my NADS!"

Scarface: [surrounded by S.W.A.T.] "Yo, I'm a make a run for it, B!"





Ghengis recently bought a ridiculously large TV himself (56" to be exact) and he told me that you see things on a high def TV that you wouldn't normally notice, and it's funny because Half Baked doesn't have anything visually fancy to it, but now I can see what he was talking about.


G: "You know what looks really good on high def?"
K: "Um. Porn?"
G: "No, no, no... Dancing With The Stars."
K: "You're fucking with me right. You don't watch that."
G: "I'm serious! The girls, they wear these sparkle things on their skin, and with high def, you can actually see all sparkles, I shit you not."
K: "That's really exciting."
G: "I'm telling ya. It's cool."


Damned if I didn't notice all these little highlights in Mary Jane's hair, and the light catching her curls...even the sheen on Samson's velvet burn-out pants. I'm so impressed that I may even try to muster up some estrogen this week and watch Dancing With The Stars.

My Soundtrack

Stolen from Bukes. So rare that he actually posts something like this!


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie



And these are all the order they came up in, no shit. Some of these are actually pretty hilarious.


opening credits;
Metallica - Sad But True

waking up;
Army of Anyone - Father Figure

first day of high school;
Default - Wasting My Time

falling in love;
Cold - Suffocate

fight song;
Sublime - D.J.S.

breaking up;
Howie Day - Brace Yourself

prom;
Wallflowers - One Headlight

life;
Green Day - Holiday

mental breakdown;
Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Life

driving;
Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

flashback;
Human League - Don't You Want Me

getting back together;
Prince - Kiss

wedding;
Nine Inch Nails - Terrible Lie

birth of child;
Kay Hanley - Princely Ghetto

final battle;
Sheryl Crow - The First Cut Is The Deepest

death song;
Everclear - Volvo Driving Soccer Mom

funeral song;
Ben Lee - Nothing Much Happens

end credits;
Nirvana - Jesus Doesn't Want Me For a Sunbeam

What I did at work today

Probably the most productive 2 hours I've had in weeks.

"She's a sudoku maniac."

Uh oh

Youngest Child has a girlfriend. She is younger (4 to his almost 5) and has little blonde curls and blue eyes. Her nickname is Pippah. She follows him around like the sun rises and sets on his head.


They sit on the couch to watch movies and feed each other popcorn. They hug, but my son won't give in to the lip action just yet; he's no manwhore, I've taught him well.


So yeah, my kid is dating. It's only a matter of time before I'm casually leaving the bulk pack of Trojans on his dresser. God, I feel older by the minute.

How 'bout a nice big cup of "GoFuckYourself?"

Today I received a packet in the mail from the school department. My heart jumped a little when I saw the return address, but I quickly realized exactly what kind of packet this was:


"Dear Ms. K,

We want to thank you for the wonderful work you did as a substitute for the xxxx Public Schools this year. We hope you enjoyed the experience enough that you will want to keep your file active for next year's substitute teacher pool. Please fill out the enclosed forms by June 1st."


I rolled my eyes and tossed it into the trash. Yeah, please, sign me up to sub for 80 bucks a day with no benefits and no idea of where I will be working day to day until I get a phone call at 6am. Fan-fucking-tastic. Where do I sign.


This little incident did get me thinking, however; what if those bastards actually offered me a permanent job? Would I take the 10 thousand dollar hit in pay and accept? For the first time in quite a while, I started thinking about it. I honestly don't know what I would do.


I miss teaching. I miss the kids. I miss feeling like I was actually using my brain all day long. I'm so unchallenged in what I'm doing right now that I'm ready to flat out lose my shit.

This is one of those weeks where I really wonder if I did the right thing. I know I did the right thing for my own sanity and for my family, but what if I made a short-term gain kind of decision that will fuck me in the long run?


Why can't I just make a decision and know it was right? Am I doomed to second guess myself until I'm dead? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Major Jones For Spinach

Meet my newest friend: "Spinach"


Spinach is a good dude. He's full of folic acid, so I guess if I'm looking to get knocked up any time soon I'm all set. He's also known to ward off cancer by means of some kind of leafy voodoo magic. Hey, I'm not askin', I just eat the stuff and trust, son. I trust.

Spinach is great in salad, as it is far tastier than that iceberg lettuce shit...I mean, really, an iceberg is probably tastier than that breed of lettuce, am I right? He also a far more pleasing shape, and you don't have to tear it off of a "head" to eat it.

Lately, I can't get enough of this shit. I crave it like a pregnant woman craves the entire snack aisle at the supermarket. I could snort the stuff and still find it delicious.

So if you haven't already, please, give Spinach the play it deserves. Thank you.