TGIF

I just got back from 3 hours in the ER. Middle Child (7) had an ingrown hair in his groin area yesterday that I'd covered with ointment and put a bandaid on, but by the time he got home from school he'd itched the shit out of it and gotten it all infected. It was big and pus-filled with a raised red area all around it Needless to say, we weren't about to fuck around at that point, so we were packing him up to go when Youngest Child (4) decided to fuck around in the living room and whacked his head on the coffee table...which is slate. Blood everywhere. So we packed up the two of them and headed out.

We had them both in the same room, waiting for the doctor, so of course they're fucking around, bugging each other. MC managed to kick YC in the head, of course, causing the cut to open up more. Screaming ensued. Doc finally showed up, drained MC's abscess, then turned to YC and decided that Dermabond was the way to go.

20 minutes later, he's superglued, eating a popsicle and ready to go. Just as we were leaving, in one fluid motion, he reached up and PULLED THE DERMABOND OFF. Blood pouring out again, what the fuck...called the doc, she said she's NEVER had a kid pull Dermabond off, and that now would have to have real stitches.

The husband, at this point, was ready to kick YC's ass, so he took a walk to cool off. I stayed behind, wrapped the kid in a sheet like a burrito and held him down for 3 stitches right next to his eye. Fun.

Husband came back with MC, who still needed his antibiotic shot for the infection...it took 3 nurses and my husband to hold him down for 2 simultaneous shots, 1 to each butt cheek. He was bullshit. We then had to keep him from touching his butt for 10 minutes to make sure he didn't break out in hives as a reaction to the shot, during which time he screamed his head off in the waiting room.

While this was going on, Cameron started pulling on his stitches (it was still numb), actually pulling on the fucking threads. We took him back and got him a bandaid to cover the stitches.

As we sat in the waiting room, I looked at the husband and said, "You know, none of this would have happened if you'd just kept it in your fucking pants." He gave me the finger and walked away.