Hypothetical Questions

Charles quit the other night. I'm actually a bit sad over his departure, as his antics have been a constant source of entertainment. On his last night of work, he had the following conversation with Pat:

C: "So what kinda thangs can a person ship 'round here?"
P: "Just about anything you want."
C: "What about 'splosives?"
P: "Uh, generally we don't ship anything dangerous like that."
C: "Ok...well 'sposin...just 'sposin...ah happened to have mahself a dead body."
P: "Ummmm..." [look of horror, backs away slowly]
C: "No no don't misundahstayand...it wouldn't be like rottin' or anythang like that."
P: "That's a relief."
C: "Say it was all embalmed and whatnot. Could ah ship it?"
P: "I don't think we do that, Charles."
C: "Well 'sposin I wrapped it up good with lots ah packin' peanuts."
P: [stares]
C: "and if I put it in a crate, packed up good...would they open it up?"
P: "Probably not. Unless it started leaking."
C: "So plastic wrap...packin' peanuts...and a crate. S'all I'd need?"
P: "I...I...guess you could maybe get away with it."
C: "Well that's inneresting."

[continues loading truck as Pat stares at him, open-mouthed]

C: "Well I don't REALLY have mahself a dead body. I was just wonnering."


Yeah. Sure.

"Ah shit...we got a leaker."

Does anyone else think it's no coincidence that he left the day after that? I think maybe his "Ant" got to be too much of a bitch and he iced her. Who knows, we probably shipped her old bones last night.