K Award Recipient - 9/20/05

Every now and then, an item comes along that defies logic...that makes you wonder who in the blue hell would ever bother to plunk down the money for it. This isn't necessarily limited to infomercial items, either, this is shit that is made by reputable manufacturers for the sole purpose of making you sit back, cock your head and mutter "what the FUCK..."

For these items, I am establishing the K Award for Outstanding Uselessness.

The Black & Decker
Automatic Jar Opener

Are they fucking SERIOUS? I mean, come ON, you're really going to spend $40 bucks and suck up counter space that could be used for something useful (like these fine items) because you're too much of a wuss to open a JAR?

I saw it at WalMart today, and I had this urge to set up a hidden camera between the comforters and pillows in the aisle across from the display...wait for the first man to pick it up and look at it...and jump out screaming "PUSSY BOY!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

So, "Automatic Jar Opener", this K's for you.