Vacation Hell

My longtime readers know that family vacations always yield interesting stories, but this year really did take the taco. We were ambitious; we planned 3 days in North Conway, NH, 2 days in Philadelphia for the King Tut exhibition at the Franklin Institute, and a day for local museums. Little did we know that we would pay for our ambition in spades.

Day 1

Radiator decides to explode halfway to North Conway, costing us several hours of valuable vacation time.

Day 2

Youngest Child almost drowns in hotel pool.

Day 3

StoryLand with the kids...quiet. AKA "The Calm Before the Storm"

Day 4

Return home...K sees doctor for 2 weeks of a sore throat and stiff neck. K is told that it is "viral" and to suck it up. Tire blows on the way to the museum.

Day 5

We are robbed. 2 complete sets of tires and rims are stolen from under our deck in the backyard. Hooligans leave gate open, allowing Casey the Retarded Wonder Corgi to escape, 5 hours before we are due on a plane. I make out a will and have my dad and grandma witness it, as I am convinced that there have been too many bad omens to take any chances.

Day 6

Arrival in Philly...hot and disgustingly humid weather makes the City of Brotherly Love stink like The City of Someone's Ass.

Day 7

Plane home is delayed for lightning. Annoying businessman attempts to cut us in line to board the plane (Southwest is open seating) and the husband gets into it with him. People in line behind us cheer, and the flight attendant made the guy wait so he was the very last one of the plane, much to everyone's amusement. Turbulence all the way home convinces me that we are all going to die. I decide that the will was not such a bad idea.

Day 8

K checks voicemail, finds a message from the doctor about the positive strep culture that came back into the office the day before. While on the phone, Middle Child sets the couch on fire.



6 months to accrue a week of vacation and THIS is what I get? Fucking hell.