Never satisfied

So I've been giving the husband the silent treatment for the last 24 hours or so, and of course he thinks I'm just being a bitch for the sake of being a bitch. We do this every now and then; one of us will get pissed off, and not speak to the other for a day or two until we get over it and pretend like it never happened. I suppose it beats screaming at each other in front of the kids, but I find that as time goes on, these silent treatments increase in frequency. I also find that there is little to no satisfaction or resolution in such a routine.

The issues are usually the same: one of us feeling hurt or neglected, and expressing our displeasure in the only way that we know how. My main issue as of late is feeling like I am further down on his totem pole than he is on mine. He would rather be in the driveway working on a car than in the house with me and the kids. He "works late" all the time when I know that he's just hanging around with his dealers, shooting the shit, generally avoiding coming home.

Logically, I know that the majority of the time he spends away from me is legitimately for some kind of work, but I know that he pads these hours as an excuse to get away. It hurts. I know I'm being a brat, but I miss feeling like he couldn't wait to get home to be with me. I haven't felt that way in a long, long time.

Perhaps because I don't do the girl thing and cry when he hurts me (I prefer to go the bitch route) he doesn't realize it. Perhaps my expectations are too high. As time goes on, this feels less like a marriage and more like a business arrangement. Maybe this is normal, but right now, it feels like shit.