Grandma-isms
Saturday, April 07, 2007
"I got shaved before my surgery. Just like one of those whores on The Bachelor."Grandma discussing her newfound Brazilian look.
Looking in the mirror:
"I need a razor. My chin hair is out of control. You sons of bitches better not put me in the ground without shaving me first."
When my aunt brought her dinner:
"I didn't want fucking lasagna, I asked for pizza."
Response to my uncle ranting about how much he had to pay for my other uncle's funeral:
"Go fry your ass, you cheap bastard."
On her own funeral arrangements:
"I want the lining to be black leather. And I want feathers. Lots of feathers. And don't cheap out on my coffin, if I get eaten by bugs because you bastards were cheap, I'm coming back to haunt you."
"I don't want that old bastard in my hole."Grandma on the subject of my grandfather's ashes being placed in her grave after she dies.
sKWeez'd by K @ 11:56 AM | Perma-link
5 Comments:
At 4/07/2007 9:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
Your Grandma ROCKS.
At 4/08/2007 7:38 AM,
Anonymous said…
I've never heard "Go fry your ass" but I think I need to start using it at least once a day. Damn, she sounds like a hoot.
And the damn verification code is like a freakin pop quiz. Half of it is "pqpqdpqpdpbdbdbqbdbqp) all in a row. A dyslexic's nightmare.
At 4/08/2007 9:27 PM,
Washington Crunchy Mama said…
Your Grandma reminds me of the fruitcake lady ~ she was great.
At 4/11/2007 9:54 PM,
J. said…
"I don't want that old bastard in my hole."
Reminds me of Al Bundy: "Our wedding vows said 'til death do us part. After that, I'm free to date."
At 4/13/2007 3:37 AM,
Angewl said…
These were hilarious. I have to read them to my husband because he always asks why I am sitting here laughing.
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