Success
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Seems everyone around me lately is enjoying immense personal & professional success. The husband came back from a trade show with an expensive watch for being a top salesperson in the country with one of the manufacturers he deals with and a big job offer from another. I have a couple of friends who have been recognized/rewarded/promoted/bonused in their jobs as well, and a bunch of friends who are getting married, having babies, buying houses...just good things happening all around me. It's kind of weird how it's all happening at once, but I guess this is how it goes when you're approaching your early 30's; shit starts to come together. Good for them.
Most of the success I've had in my life has been directly related to school. Scholarships, Dean's List, double majors, blah blah blah. I started having kids before I'd even finished undergrad, so I never had a chance to build a career like my friends have. Having just recently forayed into the professional world, I'm sure it will be quite a while before I make any kind of impression, but I can't help but feel like I'm behind.
Logically, I know that I put all of that aside to raise a family, and that it's not like I'm some slacker, but I'm finding that part of me has this need to be constantly overachieving. If someone isn't petting me on the head and telling me I did a good job, I don't feel like I am. Sick, right? I have 2 college degrees, I'm raising 3 children & working full time, yet I still feel like I haven't done enough with my life thus far. I'm starting to think that I'm slightly mental, and not in a "funny haha" kinda way.
I'm not jealous in the least, and I'm genuinely happy for everybody...but it's all making me that much more aware of what I'm doing (and not doing) with my own life. And of course my natural reaction is to go back to school. See? M E N T A L.
The husband says I'm a glutton for punishment, but what can I say; the MBA is calling my name.
"K...come get me...I'll pet you on the head and tell you that you're doing a good job..."
Fucking mental. That's me.
Most of the success I've had in my life has been directly related to school. Scholarships, Dean's List, double majors, blah blah blah. I started having kids before I'd even finished undergrad, so I never had a chance to build a career like my friends have. Having just recently forayed into the professional world, I'm sure it will be quite a while before I make any kind of impression, but I can't help but feel like I'm behind.
Logically, I know that I put all of that aside to raise a family, and that it's not like I'm some slacker, but I'm finding that part of me has this need to be constantly overachieving. If someone isn't petting me on the head and telling me I did a good job, I don't feel like I am. Sick, right? I have 2 college degrees, I'm raising 3 children & working full time, yet I still feel like I haven't done enough with my life thus far. I'm starting to think that I'm slightly mental, and not in a "funny haha" kinda way.
I'm not jealous in the least, and I'm genuinely happy for everybody...but it's all making me that much more aware of what I'm doing (and not doing) with my own life. And of course my natural reaction is to go back to school. See? M E N T A L.
The husband says I'm a glutton for punishment, but what can I say; the MBA is calling my name.
"K...come get me...I'll pet you on the head and tell you that you're doing a good job..."
Fucking mental. That's me.
sKWeez'd by K @ 7:57 PM | Perma-link
1 Comments:
At 1/21/2007 11:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
No degrees here, but know the feeling. And I'm approaching 40.
Why do we always seem to compare others acheivements to our own or lack there of?
I've been questioning myself a lot lately and am still trying to figure out my path. Lord knows if I ever will.
Just know that your search for inner peace and accomplishment is not alone and I stand tall beside you. :)
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