Crazy bitches

The new job is going well, besides my incident with that asshole from Finance, nothing else has gone too horribly wrong. I'm finally coming to the end of my training period, and should start doing some real work next week. The only real downside to the place is the crazy fucks that work in the department next to mine. Every company has 'em, but sadly they are in direct proximity to my little corner of the world.

The office as a whole has a speaker system that is tied into some horrible radio station...most days when I walk into the bathroom, where it is at the loudest volume, my ears are assaulted by the musical stylings of Culture Club or Seal. Do you know what it's like trying to pee when Boy George is telling you that he'll tumble for ya? It's fucking difficult, and the fact that nobody likes to turn the heat on makes the toileting experience that much worse. One day, I swear that my ass will stick to the seat in a Christmas Story-esque kind of freak accident, and I'll be trapped in a stall with bad music.

Anyway, I digress...back to the bitches. These particular "ladies" prefer to work in absolute silence...hell, I hate the lousy music as much as the next person, but the background noise is preferable to nothing at all...these chicks will actually scale the walls of the cube farms and teeter on top to reach up to the ceiling and manually turn the volume all the way down. I found this to be slightly peculiar, but didn't think anything of it until our weekly staff meeting, when our boss told us that H.R. had received a complaint about our department.

Apparently, the bitches next door find our department "distracting" and feel that we need to keep our voices down.

The funny part is that the very nature of our respective jobs is to be on the phone, be involved in conference calls, interact with each other for various purposes...now, we're not rowdy by any means, we're all professionals and have not behaved in any way that would attract any kind of normal attention. We speak in a normal tone of voice to each other, but apparently that's just not good enough; these assholes actually want us to whisper. And no, they're not kidding.

My point of view is that if you don't have enough of an attention span to do your job with normal human interaction going on in the background, maybe you need some Ritalin, or perhaps earplugs and blinders.

Anyway, I'm told that these people had put in complaints long before I ever showed up...the support person actually got dragged into H.R. a few months ago for "foul language" because the crazy bitches heard her mutter "Oh SHIT" when her computer crashed. Another person was on the phone with a client when one of them stomped up to his cube wall and actually SHUSHED him.

Are there nuts like this in every office? I'm dreading the day one of them has the nerve to shush me, because I'm not sure I could restrain myself from hurling a Swingline.