It's that time of year again...

Some of you may remember last year's craft fair adventure with Yvonne. Now, I had no intention of going again this year, (they sucked me in with their homemade chocolate and floral arrangements once, but never again!) but Youngest Child yanked the carrot nose right off of my poor little snowman head, so I knew I had to go see Snowman Lady for a replacement. I forgot all about the craft fair, however, until Yvonne called me up on Thursday.


Y: "K, what are you doing Saturday?"
K: [suddenly remembers] "SHIT! Craft fair."
Y: "Yup."
K: "You whore! Why didn't you remind me?"
Y: "Bitch, I'm not your social planner. Are you going or what?"
K: "Dunno. Let me check with the husband."


So I checked the husband's schedule and managed to schedule a couple of hours to hang with the old bitties in a land filled with hand-carved "Welcome" signs and scarves with love in the stitches. Snowman Lady, here I come.

As you may recall, I had two resolutions for future craft fair attendance: 1) arrive earlier and 2) bring a bigger bag. I handled #1 by arriving right at 9am and cutting further up into line with early birds Yvonne & Hazel, giant tote bag over my shoulder. I got some very dirty looks from several freezing old ladies clutching Dunkin' Donuts coffees, but I stared them down and they went back to yacking about the topic du jour: Snowman Lady. Seems everyone in the line was prepared to rush downstairs to grab armloads of handmade snow people come hell or high water. I knew that I would have to really be on top of my game to get what I needed this year.

The doors opened and the crowd was off; down the stairs and through the maze of hallways to snowman paradise. We passed by Yvonne's mother and her friend Gigi on the way there, and having been at the front of the line, they'd already surveyed Snowman Lady's wares.


G: "You guys JUST got in?"
Y: "Uh, yeah. It's only 9:05."
G: "Well good luck."
K: "Why?"
G: [chuckling] "She won't have anything left by the time you get there!"


They wandered off, bags in hand, muttering about "amateurs." We walked faster, filled with the terror of my snowman head being out of stock. We rounded the corner to find a line 20 bitties deep, all with various puffy white objects clutched in their wrinkly little hands. It was officially ON.

I quickly surveyed the remaining merchandise to find an identical snowman to the one I'd bought last year. I reached over a head of blue hair and snatched it with triumph. Yvonne tisked and insisted that I get something different, so I begrudgingly chose another color and put the original one back (and was immediately snagged by someone else). I clutched my snowman and stood in the line to pay while Yvonne and Hazel continued browsing.


As I waited for Yvonne to pay, I spotted a cute little stuffed gingerbread person wearing a chef hat and an apron that I just had to have. But the line was so friggin' long...

Alarmed, I spun around and saw Yvonne getting her total from Snowman Lady.


K: "WAIT!!! WAIT!!!!"
Y: "Huh???"
K: "You have to get this for me. I'll give you the money!"


Unable to fight my way through the sea of bitties, I literally had to throw it to her. It was like watching a football pass in slow motion on ESPN. She snatched it out of the air and dropped it on the counter. Gingerbread person was MINE. I happily took my prize from her as we walked to the next crafter.

I picked up a few nice items, but once again, the highlight was Snowman Lady. I heart that bitty, I do.