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Today we had a meeting about Oldest Child's struggles in school. I went in with a tiny bit of a 'tude (after last week's incident, I guess I was a bit on the defensive), very much against referring him for a special ed evaluation...and left handing the vice principal a letter requesting the full work up. I didn't want to do it, but I feel we have no choice.


He's been throwing chairs, pencils, books...the same little girl's whose hair he cut last week ended up with a pencil stuck in her NECK a few days ago, which I knew nothing about until today. He refuses to do his work, he purposely distracts the other children, and he actually had the gall to go into the teacher's desk to retrieve his confiscated Yu Gi Oh card collection (which he knew he shouldn't have brought to school in the first place). My husband and I sat in horror as we listened to the summary of his recent behavior.


Perhaps it's because my other two children are already on education plans that I was so reluctant to request one for him...logically, I know better than that, I know that what matters is the best interests of the child and getting him the services that he needs...but by putting in that request it's almost like admitting failure as a parent. I should have done better. I fucked up yet again.


So I've got 2 children on the autism spectrum as it is, with ed plans in place...now the one kid I thought would be ok is going down the same path. I'm starting to think I'm genetically defective or that I didn't take enough vitamins while I was pregnant. Perhaps I wronged somebody really important in a previous life, and my punishment is having to watch my children struggle. Who knows, but I think I'd better find a Mistress Cleo type to cleanse my aura before something else goes wrong, just to be safe.