Rat Bastards

Dear Dr. Fuckhead,

I have requested that the medical records of all three of my children be transferred to Dr. Not A. Fuckhead in SumOtherTown, USA. We are not moving, nor has our insurance changed. Frankly, we are incredibly sad and disappointed at the treatment that our family has received in recent months, and no, I am not referring to the medical kind.

My husband and I were both patients with Fuckhead Pediatrics from birth. He saw Dr. Assbite, and I saw you. We had always experienced wonderful, personalized care from your practice, so naturally we wanted our own children to be treated there. Over the years, we’ve seen your practice grow practically exponentially…a new office in SumOtherTownFord, a new doctor every time we turn around, 3 month waits for physicals…all of this we accepted, as we valued the care we were receiving.

Seemingly overnight, we started seeing new signs on the wall. Additional fees for appointments after 5pm, for example…a $5 fee for a single photocopy of a physical form. We gritted our teeth and told ourselves, “Times are changing, costs are rising. It’s ok, we’ve been patients there for years and we can roll with the punches.” We figured this is just the way it is, and as long as our children were receiving quality care, it was worth it.

Then my son, MiddleChild, had an appointment on March 22nd, 2006, for a routine physical. During this visit, I asked you about a rash he had on his arm…you suggested hydrocortisone and moisturizer for his dry skin. 30 seconds of a casual question and answer from my son’s doctor, and you felt the need to code the visit in such a way that my insurance company was billed $75 in ADDITION to the $130 that was coming out of my own pocket for the visit. I was extremely disturbed by this impression of “double dipping” and I called your billing department to ask about it. The attitude was that I wasn’t getting charged for it, so I shouldn’t worry about it. The billing department told me that they would talk to you and get back to me, which they never did.

The final straw came today when I called to make an appointment for my youngest son’s physical and was told that there was a hold on my account due to the fact that we hadn’t paid for my other son’s physicals as of yet. I was under the impression that the account was still being researched, and hadn’t cut a check because I was waiting for that phone call back. I had planned on cutting a check when I brought YoungestChild in for his physical, but wasn’t even allowed to make an appointment.

We are not deadbeats. We have been loyal patients for over 30 years, and have never let our account go past due. I am absolutely horrified that I was coldly told that I had to contact billing before they could make my appointment.

Between exorbitant costs, your questionable billing practices, and the fact that the length of time that you spend on my sons’ visits seems to get shorter and shorter every year, we are moving on to a practice with only 3 doctors and a focus on personalized patient care. I am sad that it has come to this, but when it comes right down to it we are customers, and we are highly dissatisfied.

Since I have received no resolution from your billing department regarding the additional $75 charge, I have filed a grievance with ShitEatingInsuranceCompany. It is excessive and unnecessary charges such as this that add up and end up costing us when our ShitEatingInsuranceCompany premiums jump up 10-20% each year. I am extremely sad that such a wonderful and caring practice has turned into a mini-corporation based on the bottom line of a balance sheet instead of with family. Your priorities are all out of whack, and unless you want to become the fast-food version of the restaurant you once were, you’d better take a good hard look at what you’re doing and who you’re doing it to.

Perhaps you originally got into medicine to make a difference, but now you’re giving the impression of being in it for the bucks. If that’s the legacy you’re willing to leave behind, so be it.

Sincerely,

K & Family


P.S. Thank you for this last slap in the face of $15 + .50 per page for patient records. Haven’t you people soaked my insurance company for enough over the years? The whole thing makes me sicker by the minute.