My son the puss

Oldest Child ran out of books to read, so I dug through my extensive collection and produced six RL Stine books from the Goosebumps series. He is 8, but reads at a high third grade level, so I know he can handle them.

K: "Here."
OC: "WHAT are THESE?"
K: "Goosebumps. They're solid. You'll like them."
OC: "I don't want THESE!"
K: "Why not?"
OC: "They're SCARY."
K: "Oh God, they're not THAT scary. They have these in your library."
OC: "NO THEY DON'T!!!"
K: "Uh, yeah they do. I'm a teacher, I know about these things."
OC: "Nuh UH!"
K: "Look! This one is about a mummy...and OH WOW LOOK this one has green monster blood oozing out of the basement...check it out!"
OC: "Get them away from me."
K: "Wuss."
OC: "I AM NOT!"
K: "Yeah, ok, go back to Captain Underpants. I can't believe you'd rather read about some fat kid who fights crime in his tighty whities than read these."
OC: "FINE! I WILL!"
K: "GOOD! What's he gonna do in the next book, fight crime in his BOXER SHORTS? OOOOHHHHHH HOW EXCITING!!! MAYBE HE'LL HAVE A SKID MARK MYSTERY TO SOLVE!"

[door slams]


Not the most mature exchange I've ever had with a child, but what the fuck, somebody has to guide his taste in books away from toilet humor. How am I supposed to pass my Stephen King collection on to a kid who won't even touch RL Stine? He's going to read horror and like it, goddammit...