Floridians Bathing in BBQ Sauce; Gators Said to Be Pleased.

Craaaaaaaaazy shit going on down in Florida...three alligator attacks in a week, in a region where they've only seen about 17 in half a century. This one old lady was watering her garden when she felt something at her ankle...well hellooooooo Mr. Alligator! She apparently beat it with her garden hose and ran screaming into her house. Perhaps I'm going to hell for this, but the mental picture there is just hysterical.


My grandmother, who used to live in Kissimmee (aka Raisin Ranch USA), used to write to me about these nightmares she used to have about sunbathing in her backyard and being dragged away by a gator. We'd roll our eyes and make the cuckoo sign behind her back...alligators don't work that way, Grandma! They don't just creep into your backyard for a snack! Apparently, the old lady wasn't so crazy after all.


My only theory is that reptiles are pissed at us for encroaching upon their wetlands, and have organized a full scale attack.

"Hmmm...yes...those human motherfuckers definitely need to go.
Hey, do you guys smell BBQ sauce?"

Again, my theories of "The End of the World" are creeping into the back of my mind...doesn't it seem like shit is hitting the fan on all fronts?