The Man Purse

Apparently, an item masquerading as a "European Carry All" has been gaining popularity right here in the good old U.S. of A. Carry all my ASS, it's a purse, and I'm told that there are men who carry these things and claim to not be gay.


Logically, I can see why these things have popped up. Between the cell phone, iPod, PDA, keys, wallet, and whatever else men carry around, I can see where the common man would start to envy our purses. Ghengis, for example, emptied his pockets once and I was nothing short of amazed at how much shit he had in those jeans. I was seriously waiting for him to pull out a midget or something, it was crazy.


Women can keep their entire lives in a good purse. Right now, in my bag, I have enough supplies that if my car went off the road and into a ravine, I could probably survive comfortably for several days. Purses are arguably the greatest fashion invention of all time, why should the fairer sex be the only ones to reap the benefits?


As I was reading about these abominations of man fashion, I decided to share my discovery with the husband.


K: "I guess man purses are all the rage lately."

K's husband: "WHAT?"

K: "Man purses. I guess they're called 'European Carry All's'"

K's husband: "What kind of a fuckin' faggot would have one of those?"

K: "Well, they're like a purse, but they're disguised as a cooler or something so it doesn't look feminine"

K's husband: "It's still a fuckin' purse."

K: "So you wouldn't use one?"

[stunned silence]

K's husband: "There's a better chance of me using tampons than carrying around one of those fuckin' fairy bags."


Well. I guess there will be no man purse under the tree for the husband this holiday season.