How many ways am I a complete tard?

Let me count them...


1) A bag of onions dropped to the back of a cabinet that I rarely look in, and turned into this:

Perhaps a sign that I should clean the cabinets more often?

2) As my husband made the shopping list, he specifically noted that the eggs I buy should be WHITE. The reason for this is that last year, I came home with 2 dozen BROWN eggs for easter egg dying activities. Never did it dawn on me that I had to buy white. Ever seen brownish pink eggs? No? Well, I have.


3) While I shop, I HAVE to cross things off my list as I go or I would wander aimlessly. If I forget my pen, I spend twice as much time shopping.


4) I thought I lost my pen, and while I was at the checkout, I dug through my purse like a nut and looked all around the floor. It was one of my purple stick pens (which are kinda hard to come by) and I was kinda pissed at myself for losing it.

Back at home, as I leaned into the car to get the groceries, something in my hair got caught up in the door and ended up stabbing me in the neck, breaking the skin and leaving a nasty little welt.

Up side: I found my pen. W00T.