Loser, Interrupted

My current principal gave me the "sorry, you suck, and we don't want you for next year" speech today. Well, not in those exact words, but that was pretty much all I heard while her lips moved and her eyes avoided mine.

My current position was only for the school year, and I knew that going in, but I was hoping that if I busted my ass and threw myself into my work that I would somehow be recognized for that and given a permanent position. Sadly, I am not fucking any of the selectmen, nor am I the daughter of somebody with political influence, which puts me at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole.

Never mind that there are some exceptionally shitty teachers who have those sought-after positions...take, for example, my 3rd grade teacher. She used to scream at us all day long, yank us by our arms and tell us we had "minds like sieves" (I didn't find out what a sieve was until years later, thankfully), but she's still teaching. Somebody like me, who actually wants to do some good, will flounder in the bowels of the school system (i.e. substitute teaching) for years before landing a decent job.

Some of you may remember my elation a few months back at having landed a job. "K is a loser no more" I declared, full of hope and expectation that hard work would eventually pay off. I guess this school year has just been a brief hiatus from Loserville, perhaps a tiny step closer to an ultimate goal, but just a hiatus nonetheless.

I plan to get exceedingly drunk this evening. Exceedingly drunk.