What were we thinking?

I acquired another pair of Roos last week, blue with yellow accents and YES I GOT THE POCKET THIS TIME, LoveBoatCaptain! My current fascination with Roos has got me thinking about the various fashion faux pas that were committed by my generation.

Day Glo

I am ashamed to admit that I owned a shirt of this exact color. It was long sleeved, mock neck, and it didn't have armpits, meaning the material went straight from my elbow to my midsection for a kite-like effect when I lifted my arms. I had a denim skirt with Day Glo green stitching to match. I also had the matching Day Glo scrunchie. I'm getting a migraine just remembering how I would stare at the mirror for hours to adjust that fucking scrunchie so the pony tail sat JUST SO on the side of my head. Madness.

Layered Slouch Socks

See these socks? Nowadays, they make socks that give you that sought-after layered look WITHOUT having to wear 6 pairs of socks to get there. I remember wearing 3 pairs of socks to get "the look", and hobbling around like my toes had been amputated. Shit, I couldn't feel them, my shoes were so fucking tight that they could have shriveled up and fallen off and I would have been none the wiser. Did I mention the matching Day Glo socks that I layered to complete my kite ensemble? Pure 80's gold.


Pegged Pants

WHO convinced us that THIS looked good??? I personally wanna meet that fucktard and give him a piece of my mind for forcing me to cut off circulation to my feet for a full year of my life. Just imagine: Day Glo kite shirt, layers of matching socks, hobbling around and looking down constantly to make sure that my pants had not become "unpegged". Perish the thought.

Aerodynamic Bangs

I can proudly say that I never fell victim to big hair, but it was pretty much because my mom wouldn't let me. I wasn't even allowed to get bangs until I was in high school because it would have cost too much to pay to have them trimmed every month. I needed the big hair to balance out my kite and was denied. It's shit like this that makes a person climb to the top of a clocktower and start picking off student nurses with a rifle.


Legwarmers



I remember stealing my mom's rainbow legwarmers and pedaling away on the exercise bike so I could be just like Olivia Newton John in her whored-out video "Physical". I think I was like 5, so I never left the house in said apparel...it amazes me that some actually DID, and still DO.







The Madonna Street Whore Look

This particular ensemble really pulls it all together:

Day Glo: Check
Slouch Socks: Check
Teased Hair: Check

How the fuck did she EVER become a global superstar? It amazes me. I mean, her music is ok, but she'd never have gotten where she is without teeny boppers and the gay community worshipping her every wardrobe change.

I recently saw those skinny little rubber bracelets on youngsters...Jesus Christ...why oh why would those ever come back?


I actually started this post a month ago, and kind of forgot about it, until a friend forwarded me one of those "Your were a child of the 80's if..." lists, so I decided to finish it up and post it, since my NYE story probably isn't going to be ready until tomorrow. :D

Highlights of the list (I deleted the ones I mentioned above, and the ones I really don't care about):

"Your were a child of the 80's if..."

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales " (Woo ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM " in Kindergarten.(She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
26 You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like ..24, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy"
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)
46. You remember boom boxes. . and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.
50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART
55. You just sang those words to yourself.
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool!
59. You had a mullet!
60. You still sing "We are the World"
62. You owned a banana clip.
63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"


Good times, good times...