That's just precious...

There was a bit of a stir on the playground today...

Lots of commotion. Little girls crying. Boys whispering about how awesome "that" was, even though 75% of them probably had no idea what was going on.

Little Ashley was the most distraught of the girls..."WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT???" she wailed, pointing to a young boy by the name of Billy, who was apparently telling quite a whale of a tale over by the see-saw.

Billy: "Me and Ashley...we had ass-naked sex last night..."
Boys: "WOW!!!"
Billy: "And get this...when she took her bra off..."
Boys: [giggling..."he said bra..."]
Billy: "Yeah, her bra...and when I took it off, her boob hit me right in the face!"
Boys: [awestruck] "Really?"
Billy: "Uh huh, knocked me right down on the ground. Big ole titties."

Little Billy's parents got a call, and young Ashley went home "sick".

Did I mention they were second graders?

This caused quite a buzz in the teacher's lounge, but some of the teachers were unimpressed.

Teacher 1: "Oh that's nothing. Remember Vibrator Girl?"
K: "WHO?"
Teacher 2: "Oh yeah, Vibrator Girl [laughs], who could forget?"
K: "What happened???"
Teacher 2: "Little Carmen, down in first grade, brought her mother's big pink sex toy in for show and tell. She had NO idea what it was. Poor dear."
K: "You've got to be kidding me."
Teacher 1: "Nope. The principal called her mom to come in and get it."
K: "NO!"
Teacher 1: "Oh yeah. She had to come into the office and claim it. Real nonchalant too, like it happened all the time."
K: [stares]


Welcome to public school, boys and girls, where you can get a "reputation" before you even get pubes.