Marriage

Last night, the husband and I were spending "quality time" together, which generally means that we're in the same room, but each on our own computer. Suddenly, I had a wave of inspiration. I stood up and made my announcement.

K: "I think it's time that you service me."
H: [briefly pries his eyes away from Party Poker] "Huh?"
K: [nods toward bedroom] "Kids are asleep. Let's go."
H: [turns head back toward screen] "Uh, ok..."
K: "Come on! Time's a-wasting!"
H: "Maybe after my game is over."
K: [stares] "Are you kidding?"
H: [tap tap tap...dinging noises that indicate that it's his turn] "I'm almost done."
K: "This sucks."
H: [still mesmerized by his virtual stack of chips] "Hmm?"
K: "Fuck this. I'm starting without you."
H: [tap tap tap tap]
K: [heads to bedroom, defeated]


I'm starting to understand why hardly any of my friends are married. It's pretty bad when even the most direct declaration of "Hey, I feel like fucking, let's go!" doesn't get a married man excited anymore. Thank God for The Rabbit.