Trick or Treat!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Halloween has come and gone, and of course it was a huge pain in the ass as always.
The week started with Oldest Child whining about what he was going to bring for the party at school. You see, in second grade, your social status is not determined by the clothes you wear, but by what baked goods your mom sends in for parties, so naturally Oldest Child was concerned.
The social hierarchy goes like this:
Usually, I make chocolate chip cookies, but seeing as I have three classes to bake for this year, it would be much more work than normal. The prospect of mixing, molding and shaping 200 cookies didn't sit so well with me, so I did what any sensible modern mother would do and headed to the supermarket bakery. This would prevent my son from being ridiculed, yet give him a nice little boost in the pecking order.
I found this giant cookie-looking type things with Halloween decorations, much like the Mrs. Fields version you see here:
Only waaaaay fucking better. The Mrs. Fields version is $30 bucks! At $6.99 a pop for the supermarket fare, they could each feed a class, so I scooped up the last three and loaded them into the family wagon. Nothin' says lovin' like mommy slaving over a hot checkout line.
Store-bought snacks in hand, I headed out the door Monday morning to make my deliveries. I first stopped in Oldest Child's class. You see, I had to make the grand entrance, baked goods clearly visible, so the children would know exactly who brought them. Oldest Child was pleased. I heard a few "Wow, that's so cool, I can't wait to eat it!" comments as I walked out the door. I felt relieved; Mommy mission accomplished.
My next stop was Youngest Child's class, which was down the hall. This is a whole 'nother story, which I will probably get into in a separate entry. Long story short, I was booted from the party, and his teacher is a bitch. Moving on for now...
Final stop was Middle Child's school, which is across town. Dropped his cookie, said a quick hello, headed home. Mommy duties completed, I went home to prepare for Trick 'n Treats.
Trick or treating itself was uneventful. Oldest Child greedily ran from house to house, Middle Child obsessed over his flashlight, and Youngest Child tripped over his costume every time we had to climb stairs.
We saw this little kid dressed up like Chewbacca, which was easily the awesomest costume I've ever seen.
So here I sit, surrounded by Blow Pops, Fun-Size Snickers and various treat bags...great, just what my fat ass needs, materials for expansion.
The week started with Oldest Child whining about what he was going to bring for the party at school. You see, in second grade, your social status is not determined by the clothes you wear, but by what baked goods your mom sends in for parties, so naturally Oldest Child was concerned.
The social hierarchy goes like this:
Mom sends nothing
These kids are usually deemed "poor", or "loser", and are ridiculed as such. The bigger kids in this group usually end up beating the shit out of whichever kids made fun of them at recess.
Mom sends something lame
These kids are taunted even more than the "loser" types. Normally, these kids have the sense to ditch the lame snack on the way to school and pretend to be in the "Mom sends nothing" crowd. Better to take your licks and move on than be known as the kid who brought in a half eaten box of Lucky Charms to the Christmas party.
Mom sends a passable snack
This is usually the homemade cupcake crowd. Mom remembers at 6am that she agreed to send something, and throws a quick batch into the oven. You can usually tell these cupcakes from normal cupcakes because 1) the frosting is all melted because she didn't have time to let the cakes cool 2) they usually come in cupcake cups that don't match the occasion (i.e. Easter cups for the Valentine's Day party). These kids are left alone, because even though it isn't a culinary masterpiece, it's sugar, and that's what's really important.
Mom sends a store-bought bakery snack
These kids are a little higher on the social scale. The snack is usually something like chocolate chip cookies or an occasion-appropriate cake, conspicuously packaged with the name of the supermarket and the price on the side. Your worth is measured by how much your mom spent, plain and simple. Smart kids peel the sticker off before school starts, and try to be judged on the merit of the snack itself instead of the price.
...and finally...
Mom sends a kick-ass homemade snack
These kids are the elite, the trend-setters, the ones whose moms are saavy enough to subscribe to Martha Stewart Living and actually follow some of the recipes. Cakes in the shape of superheroes, giant homemade chocolate chip cookies that you can TELL were not store bought, hand-poured chocolate lollipops with a curly ribbon lovingly tied to the stick...this is what the kick-ass mom sends for the party. These kids get inundated with requests for playdates and sleepovers because of the possibility that the kick-ass snack mom will deliver again.
This is usually the homemade cupcake crowd. Mom remembers at 6am that she agreed to send something, and throws a quick batch into the oven. You can usually tell these cupcakes from normal cupcakes because 1) the frosting is all melted because she didn't have time to let the cakes cool 2) they usually come in cupcake cups that don't match the occasion (i.e. Easter cups for the Valentine's Day party). These kids are left alone, because even though it isn't a culinary masterpiece, it's sugar, and that's what's really important.
Mom sends a store-bought bakery snack
These kids are a little higher on the social scale. The snack is usually something like chocolate chip cookies or an occasion-appropriate cake, conspicuously packaged with the name of the supermarket and the price on the side. Your worth is measured by how much your mom spent, plain and simple. Smart kids peel the sticker off before school starts, and try to be judged on the merit of the snack itself instead of the price.
...and finally...
Mom sends a kick-ass homemade snack
These kids are the elite, the trend-setters, the ones whose moms are saavy enough to subscribe to Martha Stewart Living and actually follow some of the recipes. Cakes in the shape of superheroes, giant homemade chocolate chip cookies that you can TELL were not store bought, hand-poured chocolate lollipops with a curly ribbon lovingly tied to the stick...this is what the kick-ass mom sends for the party. These kids get inundated with requests for playdates and sleepovers because of the possibility that the kick-ass snack mom will deliver again.
Usually, I make chocolate chip cookies, but seeing as I have three classes to bake for this year, it would be much more work than normal. The prospect of mixing, molding and shaping 200 cookies didn't sit so well with me, so I did what any sensible modern mother would do and headed to the supermarket bakery. This would prevent my son from being ridiculed, yet give him a nice little boost in the pecking order.
I found this giant cookie-looking type things with Halloween decorations, much like the Mrs. Fields version you see here:
Only waaaaay fucking better. The Mrs. Fields version is $30 bucks! At $6.99 a pop for the supermarket fare, they could each feed a class, so I scooped up the last three and loaded them into the family wagon. Nothin' says lovin' like mommy slaving over a hot checkout line.
Store-bought snacks in hand, I headed out the door Monday morning to make my deliveries. I first stopped in Oldest Child's class. You see, I had to make the grand entrance, baked goods clearly visible, so the children would know exactly who brought them. Oldest Child was pleased. I heard a few "Wow, that's so cool, I can't wait to eat it!" comments as I walked out the door. I felt relieved; Mommy mission accomplished.
My next stop was Youngest Child's class, which was down the hall. This is a whole 'nother story, which I will probably get into in a separate entry. Long story short, I was booted from the party, and his teacher is a bitch. Moving on for now...
Final stop was Middle Child's school, which is across town. Dropped his cookie, said a quick hello, headed home. Mommy duties completed, I went home to prepare for Trick 'n Treats.
Trick or treating itself was uneventful. Oldest Child greedily ran from house to house, Middle Child obsessed over his flashlight, and Youngest Child tripped over his costume every time we had to climb stairs.
We saw this little kid dressed up like Chewbacca, which was easily the awesomest costume I've ever seen.
So here I sit, surrounded by Blow Pops, Fun-Size Snickers and various treat bags...great, just what my fat ass needs, materials for expansion.
sKWeez'd by K @ 2:29 PM | Perma-link
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