My Lazy Ass Friday
Friday, October 14, 2005
This is the first day in quite a while that I've had completely to myself. I really should have done something useful, like clean out the linen closet or mop the floors, but of course I'm not that smart.
5am: I arrive home from work. Scheduled to be at a middle school to substitute teach at 7:20, no point in going to bed.
5:15: Warm bed is too good to pass up. Ok, sleeping for an hour is ok. I momentarily forget my complete and utter lack of ability to hear an alarm clock on 1 hour of sleep and go to bed.
7:20: Husband shakes me awake, and I have no memory of turning the alarm off. Husband informs me that I started flailing my arms wildly to turn it off at 6:45, unable to figure it out in my half-asleep stupor, so he turned it off for me. Apparently he did not realize I had to be up to go to work.
7:22: I call in with a lame "my car broke down" excuse. Back to bed. Husband apologizes; pffft, like I'm so heartbroken at NOT getting attitude from 8th graders today. *snores*
10:01: Husband starts groping me, apparently wanting service before going to work. So I service the husband.
10:45: Husband leaves for work. I masturbate furiously, fall back to sleep.
12:15: I wake up, look at clock, decide that it's not time to get up yet. Masturbate again, pass back out.
1pm: Time to stop being a lazy ass, so I drag myself out of bed.
1:15: Shower
1:30: I see Husband on instant messenger, and decide to guarantee his early return home from work with naughty pics.
1:35: Off to the bedroom. I whip out box of toys, masturbate furiously yet again and take a few snapshots.
1:50: I crop the naughtiest shot and sit down to send it to the husband, only to find that he has logged off. @#$@#$%^#$%
2:00: Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.
2:30: Call to the husband to taunt him with the fact that he missed out on dirty pics. He is unimpressed. And he will not be home early. !$%@%!#!$#
3:10: Masturbate one more time, just for good measure.
3:20: Oldest Child gets off the bus. Bah, party's over. Rest of the day will be uneventful, culminating in me having to work at the hellhole on yet another friday night while my friends get shitfaced at the local watering hole.
On a side note, it seems that I have extraordinarily bad luck with homemade porn. I think God is trying to tell me to stop being such a slut.
5am: I arrive home from work. Scheduled to be at a middle school to substitute teach at 7:20, no point in going to bed.
5:15: Warm bed is too good to pass up. Ok, sleeping for an hour is ok. I momentarily forget my complete and utter lack of ability to hear an alarm clock on 1 hour of sleep and go to bed.
7:20: Husband shakes me awake, and I have no memory of turning the alarm off. Husband informs me that I started flailing my arms wildly to turn it off at 6:45, unable to figure it out in my half-asleep stupor, so he turned it off for me. Apparently he did not realize I had to be up to go to work.
7:22: I call in with a lame "my car broke down" excuse. Back to bed. Husband apologizes; pffft, like I'm so heartbroken at NOT getting attitude from 8th graders today. *snores*
10:01: Husband starts groping me, apparently wanting service before going to work. So I service the husband.
10:45: Husband leaves for work. I masturbate furiously, fall back to sleep.
12:15: I wake up, look at clock, decide that it's not time to get up yet. Masturbate again, pass back out.
1pm: Time to stop being a lazy ass, so I drag myself out of bed.
1:15: Shower
1:30: I see Husband on instant messenger, and decide to guarantee his early return home from work with naughty pics.
1:35: Off to the bedroom. I whip out box of toys, masturbate furiously yet again and take a few snapshots.
1:50: I crop the naughtiest shot and sit down to send it to the husband, only to find that he has logged off. @#$@#$%^#$%
2:00: Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.
2:30: Call to the husband to taunt him with the fact that he missed out on dirty pics. He is unimpressed. And he will not be home early. !$%@%!#!$#
3:10: Masturbate one more time, just for good measure.
3:20: Oldest Child gets off the bus. Bah, party's over. Rest of the day will be uneventful, culminating in me having to work at the hellhole on yet another friday night while my friends get shitfaced at the local watering hole.
On a side note, it seems that I have extraordinarily bad luck with homemade porn. I think God is trying to tell me to stop being such a slut.
sKWeez'd by K @ 3:26 PM | Perma-link
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home