Mommy's on her way to the looney bin

I went to meet my son's bus today and he didn't get off. The bus driver closed the door and started pulling away, so I did what any sane person would do and jumped in front of the bus.

K: "EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU FORGOT TO RELEASE MY SON."
D: "LADY, HE'S NOT ON THE BUS!"
K: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????? WHERE IS HE???"
D: "The other kids are saying he got on the wrong bus."
K: "OH THAT'S JUST FANTASTIC."
D: "I'll radio back to base. Please get out of the road."


I ran into the house and called the bus company.

K: "MY SON IS MISSING!"
B: "Please hold." {music}
K: "MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"

{3 minutes later}

B: "Can I help you?"
K: "My son is missing! He wasn't on his bus." {information exchanged}
B: "Hang on, we'll radio all our buses and see if anyone has him."

{muffled}

"Anyone have this kid?"
"Nope, haven't seen him, try bus 51."
"Not here either."
"We've got a missing kid, anyone have him?"
"Shit, nobody has radio'd back. Tell the mother to hold on."

K: {rocks back and forth, on the verge of tears}

(5 minutes later)

B: "He's on bus 39, he's going to drop him in about 5 minutes." CLICK
K: "MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"


I stood outside, frantically pacing, thinking my son is scared or crying or confused. The bus pulls up, and he gets off like nothing happened.

K: {grabs son in a death-grip hug} "I WAS SO WORRIED! Are you ok???"
S: "Um, yeah mom. Fine."
K: "WHAT HAPPENED???"
S: "I just forgot my bus number."
K: {dumbfounded silence}

Son goes in the house, plops down on the couch to watch Nickelodeon. He's had a rough day giving his mother gray hair, he needs his rest.

Captain Morgan...take me awaaaaaaay...