Hunker down, asshats!

So another potentially "catastrophic" hurricane is coming to tear us a new one this weekend. These poor bastards that are evacuating the Katrina shelters must think that God hates them right about now.

Owned. And then some.

As days go by, I become increasingly convinced of imminent apocalypse. There's no other explanation for the widespread suckage in the world today. Natural disasters, glaciers receding at alarming rates, terrorism, Pat Robertson...all of it points to us having our asses handed to us by a higher power, very soon.

You'll needa 'rita after you come home to
find that your house has floated away...

I actually saw lines at gas stations today. Even after Katrina, I never saw lines. People are driving miles out of their way to find cheaper gas, which is the most retarded thing I've ever heard of. You're going to drive 10 miles out of your way to save 5 cents a gallon?

Think about it:

5 cents a gallon, times 16 gallons it takes to fill a mid-size car...that's 80 cents. 80 FUCKING CENTS.

There were gas stations where people were waiting for up to half an hour to fill up. There was a gas station across the street that was 8 cents more per gallon. Is a half hour of your time worth saving $1.20?

Tards.

I found a gas station that was at $2.75/$2.85/$2.99 that didn't have a line. Now I haven't fed the old girl premium in quite some time...and judging from the $5 projections that we're getting from the impending threat of bitchface Rita, she won't be getting decent gas until well into next year...so I decided to treat the faithful Volvo with a few gallons of the good stuff.

K: (in babytalk voice) "We'll get you the Ultra, now won't we baby."
V: [sputter]
K: "Awww, it's ok, you'll feel better after you have a treat." [pats armrest lovingly]

Gas station attendant: "Uh, can I help you?"

Easy on the paint, fucknut.

Ok, so maybe I'm a tard, but at least I'm not the kind of tard who waits in line.