The First Day of School, Part Deux

Today was the second day of school, and Youngest Child woke up with a fever. We decided that he should stay home again, and got the other boys ready for their respective buses. Youngest Child laid on the couch, pissed off at the world, watching his brothers get their backpacks on with a death glare.

As The Husband started leading the others out the door, YC strapped his sandals on and followed him to the bus stop. As Oldest Child boarded his bus, YC made a desperate dive through the folding door, but his getaway was thwarted by a classic "Daddy Grab 'n Drag" move. He bawled, kicked and screamed all the way into the house, and proceeded to hole himself up in his room with his backpack, growling at anyone who came near.

I know what you're thinking...I'm embellishing to make this funnier than it was, but I'm really not. Ever since we visited the zoo during our vacation last month, he's been in a growling phase. Truth is stranger than fiction, I'm not funny enough to make this kind of shit up, and YES MY THREE YEAR OLD GROWLS. We're so proud.

At that point, we decided to send our rabid youngest child to school. What better time to unleash him on the public school system?

I packed his lunch and drove him to school. We met his teachers, walked into his class, and the aide made the mistake of trying to take his lunch box.

"NO! MINE! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!"

I gently suggested that they let him drop it on his own, for their own safety. A toy caught his eye, and he did just that. Even rabid little boys like dump trucks. Priorities, you've gotta have 'em.

I kissed him goodbye and he barely batted an eye as I left him in the care of strangers. I felt a little pang of "doesn't he need me anymore???", but I got over it pretty quick by going home and having sex with my husband in BROAD DAYLIGHT, and screaming as loud as I wanted to.

Thank God we didn't opt for the Mickey Mouse headboard, that would just be dirty.






You bitches will only get this lunchbox away from me by prying it from my COLD...DEAD...HANDS!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!